"It's a BOY!"
........and just like that, we were left in total shock with those three words.
(Right after we had the surprise of our lives!)
Ever since we saw that second red line, Garrett and I both had this instantaneous feeling that our baby would be a girl. I immediately started pinning links of little girl bows and floral blankets (which I knew was a stupid idea) and we even called the baby by the girl name we had chosen.
I have four younger sisters, and Garrett has three older sisters, so it just made sense that our first baby would be a little girl. We just knew it.
So, after much anticipation, when we saw our little kid wiggling around on that screen and the doctor laughed, "Well, it's a boy!" we just about fell off our seats. We were so not prepared to hear that, although we had discussed beforehand that we would be happy with either outcome.
As we munched on our Chick-Fil-A lunch in total bliss and shock after the appointment, we still just could not get over the fact that we were having a SON. It did not, and still does not, feel real.
I think that part of this is that I felt totally confident about my ability to raise a daughter. I've grown up raising my little sisters. I planned to teach my daughter to dance, do her hair, pick out cute little outfits, and have the perfect mother-daughter friendship. It just made sense in my mind.
But a little boy? I have no idea how to be a mom to a little boy. I don't know how to raise a good and holy man. I am completely outside of my comfort zone. I will have to learn how to play with a boy, teach a boy, and form a boy. While I do have one brother and I have been a teacher to my fair share of boys, the reality of raising my own son never seriously crossed my mind!
I think I will fall in love with being outside of my comfort zone, though. I will fall in love with having a family of my two boys. I am so excited and thrilled to see my husband have a little miniature friend. I am so ready for a new adventure for which I have, quite literally, zero expectations.
In recent years, it's been ironic that God gives me what I don't expect. Like at all. I didn't expect to move from the Midwest to the Southwest. I didn't want to be a teacher, and I didn't want to teach elementary. I didn't think I would marry the boy next door, or marry someone like Garrett at all. And I certainly did not think that two years into marriage we would have our own little boy to care for and love.
When God surprises me and catches me off guard, the part of me that controls and plans dies a slow little death and I find myself joyfully open to the better plan that God had all along. I just didn't know it.
We are so, so, so very blessed to have seen our beautiful little son so clearly for the first time on that screen. We are so pumped to be parents together even though we have no idea what's coming for us.
We are so very grateful and we just can't wait to hold our handsome little guy in real life!