My 25th Birthday
I recently turned a quarter of a century.
Birthdays used to be the most joyous day of the year, filled with gifts and free things and total excitement. Once I reached my twenties, however, birthdays turned into a more sober affair.
I'm older and wiser, with more experience, I suppose, but I also kind of dread that thought of progressing closer towards my death and the end of my life. It's totally morbid, but it's been a way for me to reflect every year on who I am and where I am going.
This birthday was particularly strange because it's the last birthday I'll ever have not being a mother. Yes, I consider myself a mother now, but my kid is still baking and growing and life is still easy. I know that motherhood is going to bring the most intense, beautiful, and probably painful times of my life and it's weird to think that I can never go back. It's really the end of my singlehood, in that sense. I'll no longer be just myself.
It also made me pause and think of all the time that I have no doubt wasted on stupid things within the past twenty five years: caring so much about what other people think of me, putting off projects and aspirations because they are too demanding, and having my mental energy draining imaging scenarios that never happen instead of making memories a reality.
Of course, I have savored oh so many wonderfully rich experiences thus far in my life. I have two beautiful families and so many authentic friendships. I've traveled Europe and America and moved to different states. I've fallen in love and gotten married and accomplishes many goals and dreams.
And I really want to intentionally make the next quarter of the century full of as many good things as I can. I want to take the suffering and unknown with a smile and gusto, and not waste any more precious moments on stupid things.
Most of all, I am so achingly grateful for the astounding friendships with which I've been blessed. From my husband to my sisters, to my college friends to my new friends, I've truly been given the best. No really, you all are the best.
See you on the flip side, half of a century. I'm coming for you with a vengence.